Nude Gas Mask Man Leaves No Trail


Police in Massachusetts are hunting a mysterious naked man, who was seen by several witnesses wandering around town wearing nothing but a gas mask. The nakedness was first observed by a witness at about 9.40pm last Thursday, when a motorist spotted the naked gas mask guy lurking in the entrance of a building in Newton, Massachusetts.

When the witness pulled up in their truck, the man fled, naked, down an alley. “ All I could see was this guy running naked down the alley with his tally-whacker flapping about. You get to see all kinds around here at night but not some freak’n bozo in a gas mask. ” The witness confirmed.

The naked man and his gas mask were next reported when a woman heard her doorbell ring. Looking out through her door’s peephole, she noticed that the person who’d rung her doorbell was naked, and wearing a gas mask.

Authorities believe that it may have been the same naked gas mask-wearing guy though the witness described this person as having a larger head. That may however be due to the witness looking through her doors peephole.

The gas mask-wearer is described as approximately 30 years old, 6 foot tall, around 14 stone, a long protruding face with large circular eyes and having a Darth Vader sounding voice and of course naked. No mention was made as to

the size of any light sabre however.

Police say that no arrests of naked people wearing gas masks were made. It is not known if the naked gas mask-wearing man will is still naked, or wearing a gas mask but I am sure he will be easily recognised if seen in the street unless he is in street full of naked gas mask wearing guys that is.” Officer Petrov confirmed.


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