Monkey’s Butt of Smokers Jokes

A Chinese company has gotten itself into hot water after it introduced its new brand of cigarettes, Monkey Tabs. The brands logo, shows a monkey smoking a cigarette on the front of the packaging. The WWF have complained to the Chinese Authorities over the matter as they believe this gives young children the wrong idea about monkeys. We at Global News Towers are not sure why the World Wrestling Federation has taken it upon itself to complain about such matters but complain they have.

Bret “Buldog” McGinty explains through a Mexican wrestling mask, why the WWF are strongly against this product to our man on the spot, Ken Stott.

“The use of a picture of a lovely monkey smoking on the front of these Monkey Tabs cigarettes is deplorable to say the least. We at the WWF are against any form of cruelty unless of course if it is within a wrestling ring. Have you ever seen a monkey with a chair coming at you in a wrestling ring? I can assure you it isn’t a nice sight. The amount of times I have been in a monkey death grip unable to tag my wrestling partner it isn’t nice at all. I can assure under these circumstances you just have to drop the monkey like a sack of bricks. However, saying that, to show a poor innocent monkey in such a disrespectable way is unbelievable. We ask the Chinese authorities to think again about this product and remove it from the shelves of their shops and businesses.”

We were unable to speak to anyone from the Chinese embassy as there were too many half naked men in wrestling outfits blocking the gates to the embassy. But a written statement on the embassy’s website stated that no harm had been done to the monkey in the picture concerned other than it dying from cancer which could have happened at any time.

No news has been confirmed of the proposed WWF protest that is to be made outside the Surrey home of one of Britain’s biggest Cigarette and Tobacco Company, Diggem and Burnam. The manufacturer has denied it is currently producing a brand called “Beagle Butts.” Which has less Tar, but has double the addictiveness than normal branded cigarettes. The manufacturer also denies that the term Beagle Butts is a secret reference to their chairman’s se xual practices, him being the leader of the Surrey Hunt.

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