Day 2: Al Fayed’s Hamster’s Diary Serialised Exclusively In The Global News Terrorists
Dear Diary,
My owner Mr Al Fayed has been in the news again claiming that I may have been forced by Prince Phillip to drive the Princess’ car and plough Diana into the Paris Tunnel. Thankfully Paris Hilton has stated in the press this afternoon that she wouldn’t allow such activities anywhere near her tunnel.
I feel very threatened at the moment as these “Dark Forces” my owner keeps referring to seem to be emanating more from his imagination and anger as to anything else. I doubt I would ever wish to go back to being forced up a glass tube by a Hollywood star but at the moment anything would feel healthier than my current surroundings
