Day 3: Al Fayed’s Hamster’s Diary Serialised Exclusively In The Global News Terrorists


Dear Diary,

I read today that Mr Al Fayed has accused Prince Philip of kidnapping me and having the Royal surgeon remove my heart and have it transplanted into his ill love child to one of his many mistresses. I do wish he would take a reality check and think about what he is saying. Next he will be saying Freddie Starr and Prince Philip ate me in a kinky food session at the palace.

It looks like the glass tube beckons me once again. Hollywood here I come.

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