Fat Boy Not Slim

An 8 year old boy weighing 14 stone has been allowed to stay with his mother after a local authority hearing. William ‘fatty’ Foulkes, 8, heard the news earlier today, and celebrated with a cheeseburger dipped in chocolate and lard.

William recently lost a stone, but found it again later and placed it back with his collection of other rocks and pebbles.

When asked what his favourite musical instrument was, Will replied “The school dinner bell”.

Wills mother, Thatsall Foulkes, blames her sons weight problem on ‘convenience culture’.

Mrs Foulkes, 89, stated “If they didn’t put handles on fridges, he wouldn’t be able to get at the Turkey Twizzlers, and its not my fault I can get 15 frozen pizza’s into my oven. If they (the Government) want my son to lose wait, they better move me to a bigger house so he can move around more, and increase my handouts, I can’t live on 12 hundred pound a week and be expected to buy carrots…can I!?”

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