Deadly Inflictions Suffer Under Hospital Restrictions


For some time now hospitals have for want of a better word, dumbed down their cleaning/hygiene policy for the much cheaper practice of disregard and neglect. This cheaper policy has created a hygiene pool of tissue wasting bugs that have killed countless thousands across the country. A hospital in the South of the country has reportedly come out in the local press and denied such practices are going on. It did however concede that closer scrutiny must be made of the current standard of cleaning by its contractor. They agreed that only one cleaner per building was a little over extending itself when it came to ensuring wards where cleaned. In some cases that we have learnt of, hospitals are getting sick patients out of their beds in order that they clean their own mess up if and when accidents have occurred.

Rumours abound that hospitals are now turning away patients who are not carrying the hospital bug (MRSA) or its cousin the super bug (CDIFF). A hospital spokesman for the Essex Health Authority categorically denied such slanderous rumours. “We can assure you that this is positively not the case. And no I am not crossing my fingers behind my back I merely have an itch.” The spokesman would not answer any other questions but to reconfirm the health authorities continuing stance.

News of this alleged exclusion of other known diseases has reached the head of the biggest medical union in Britain. The Allied Institute of Diseases of the Sick (A.I.D.S.) confirmed that its members are very alarmed indeed by the current policy in our hospitals. Mr H Pylori, head of the union spoke out strongly about this current trend.

“I would like to make it clear that our union members are very angry by these turn of events. It is true that some of our colleagues have been getting turned away by hospitals as they are not deemed worthy enough to set foot on hospital grounds. Only yesterday an amalgamated branch of ours in Surrey made up of Ecoli, Hepatitis B and C and strains of pneumonia were turned away for not being deadly enough. In another case in Devon some of our members were also refused entry just because they were from the Legionnaires, cholera and typhoid families of diseases. This exclusion in British hospitals should be stopped before the current monopoly by these trendier diseases gets too strong to stop. We ask the Government to step in open up our dirty wards to normal diseases like our membership.”

The Global News Terrorists asked the Health Minister to comment on the chaos weakening the once proud health service. The Health Minister was unfortunately unavailable to answer our searching questions. It would appear to all in the Health Service that when it comes to infectious diseases the Health Minister tends to wash his hands of such matters.

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