Gun Dog Becomes Bum Dog

A man in America was charged with having sex with a dead dog, in full view of a day care centre. Jeremy Bassett, a 23 year old from Michigan, is charged with “crimes against nature” after he was allegedly seen engaging in anal sex with the corpse of a dead dog. The dead dog which had been reported to the police four days earlier was waiting to be removed from the sidewalk when the incident happened.

Mr Bassett allegedly pulled up in his car and in full view of the day care centre removed his pants and started humping the cadaver. Mr Bassett appeared to be enjoying the Cocker Spaniel so much; he didn’t notice the day care staff watching from their window. Just as he looked to be reaching a moment of ecstasy the police turned up in a patrol car.

We spoke to Miss Wainright from the day care centre who witnessed the alleged incident. “I was in the staff rest room washing my cup in the staff room sink when I noticed a strange person standing over the corpse of the dog in the road. He seemed to be acting strangely so I asked my colleague Mr Rimmer to come and watch what was happening. Just as Mr Rimmer came to the window the man dropped his pants and knelt down behind the cadaver and proceeded to thrust his manhood into the bum of the dog. We watched for a few minutes in utter shock as the man pleasured himself on the animal. The next thing a patrol car turned up but the suspect seemed oblivious to this. When he eventually realised that the two patrolmen where walking towards him he stood up with the dog still attached and ran down the street with the two patrolmen chasing him. It was like something out of the Keystone Cops except they didn’t bugger dogs as far as I know.”

Patrolman Harry O’Hara confirmed, “We chased the suspect for two blocks but lost the trail. We spoke to witnesses who confirmed a man with a dog attached to him was seen running in the direction of a local housing project. We eventually tracked Mr Bassett down and discovered him hiding in the attic of his girlfriend’s house. It would appear that the dog belonged to his girlfriend of whom he had been grooming for sex over a 4 year period, the dog that is not the girlfriend.”

When interviewed Mr Bassett’s girlfriend declared, “I had no idea that this was happening behind my back never mind my poor dogs back. Yes sometimes I smelt dog food on his under crackers but he always said he had mopped dog food off the floor with his under crackers before putting them in the wash basket.” The trial has been pended for a later date. The dog’s corpse will be buried after the trial in order to preserve forensic evidence, i.e. finger prints and semen samples.

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