BBC’s ‘ Animal Hospital ‘ in Bear Penis Extention Row

The BBC switchboard was jammed with complaints after airing a programme showing a bear receiving a Penis extension. On last nights live ‘Animal Hospital’ the cameras showed the 2 hour operation which ended with the bear receiving a 10 inch penis. One angry mother called in and said ” i think it is disgusting showing … Continue reading

We Get Everywhere These Days

If you are looking for an excellent read then look no further than the current issue of Mustard – The Comedy Magazine. Turn to page 25 of the current issue and you may see a lonely hearts add written by the Global News Terrorists Team. Enjoy.

Before They Voted?

Bad Made Up Joke Of The Day

And finally a man dressed as Luke Skywalker was nearly killed whilst jaywalking across a busy crossing in up town New York. The man was seen by eyewitnesses as he was nearly run over by a man dressed in black, wearing a black mask whilst sitting behind the wheel of a vintage Ford Mustang car. … Continue reading

Man Admits Having Sex With Cars Continued:-

After Zimbo’s excellent report, “Man Admits Having Sex With Cars” The Global News Terrorists Editorial Team have created their top adult car movies of all time:- 1. Exhaust Honey’s 2. Deep Throttle 2 3. The Gearstick Rattlers 3 4. Big End Bangers 5 5. Crankshafter Cuties Do Crewe 6. Split Ringers 7. Sump Smoochers 8. … Continue reading

Deep Space Urine

International Space Station astronauts are eagerly awaiting the arrival of shuttle Discovery – it is bringing a new pump to mend their broken toilet.The station’s urine collection unit, as opposed to its solid waste unit, has been malfunctioning for several days. This is causing some concern for the manned crew. Nasa said it thought a … Continue reading

Last Word On The Subject?

Eagle eyed viewer Ged Simpson spotted some more Champions League jokes and sent them in to your favourite newspaper. John Terry is going to start making is own brand of vodka – and like him it’s bottled in Russia. After Ryan Giggs lifted the Champions League cup for a second time he had a peek … Continue reading

Man Admits Having Sex With Cars

Edward Smith, who lives with his current “girlfriend” – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla ( who he claims has a tight exhaust), insisted that he was not “sick” and had no desire to change his ways. “I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to … Continue reading

Coming Soon:The Global News Terrorists roving reporter Eric Shunn

Eric Shunn will be reporting on his recent trip across Europe with nothing but his journalistic mind and a few euro’s to place in his mobile pig.

Anger over star’s quake remarks

Actress Sharon Stone has sparked criticism in China after claiming the recent earthquake could have been the result of bad “karma”. The US star, speaking at the Cannes Film Festival, linked the recent disaster to Beijing’s policy on Tibet. Hollywood insiders are asking if this could also be the reason for her own bad choice … Continue reading

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