Gay Vicar Lightening Sickener

Britain’s first Gay Cleric to be married by an Arch Bishop was rushed to hospital yesterday with a severely burned anus. It has been reported that the Cleric was injured after a lightening strike hit his chapel and entered his cloister as he was drinking from a tap. The lightening entered his mouth and then left his body through his bottom.

The clergyman was fortunately wearing rubber-soled boots and so the lightening bolt was unable to exit via his feet so it took the next easiest route, and came out of his rectum. The bolt then ricocheted around the room and shot out of a late Victorian stained glass window depicting god’s wrath which was worth thousands of pounds.

“It was incredibly painful, I felt it pass through my manly torso and then I cannot remember much at after that. I am used to pain my husband Frank is as wide as he is long but my god this was different,” he is reported to have stated to the nursing staff.

A spokesperson for the hospital confirmed, “Rev. Munched is a very lucky man indeed. If it had not been for his rubber boots and the rubber chaps he was wearing under his vestments he may not be alive today. Fortunately Rev. Munched was wearing the type of chaps that leave the rectum exposed. If this had not been the case there would be nowhere for the lightening bolt to exit except his mouth, ears or nose. This is truly bizarre incident but not impossible. I can only imagine it must have been like a burly truck driver ram raiding you from behind when it exited.”

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