Swoop on Pupil with Wrong Snack in Lunchbox

A 10 year old boy in Kent was traumatised by events that occurred at school on Tuesday afternoon. The boy in question was just about to start his lunch time snack when he was forced to leave the school canteen by an irate teacher. He was then made to remove the contents of his Action Man lunch box, all that were deemed to be unsuitable by the teaching staff. It was claimed by the head master when questioned on the matter, that the food inside the pupil’s lunch box was far too unhealthy.

Young Liam O’Brien was made to eat the food in the head masters room away from his friends. The school confirmed any future items of food deemed to be unhealthy would be confiscated if found to break the schools rules. Liam’s father, Michael 41, said yesterday: “It’s outrageous. It has become an obsession with the school. They are acting like the Gestapo. They have no right to check a child’s lunchbox even worse confiscate any contents they feel are not fit for a child to eat.

Liam was ordered out of the canteen in front of his friends and the matter has left him feeling very scared. He was told that an apple, a natural yogurt, a sandwich (wholemeal) and low fat spread were far too unhealthy for a child his age.

I blame Anthony Worrall Thompson for jumping on the Jamie Oliver band wagon”, Michael continued, “Since his school dinner campaign the children cannot move without being interrogated about what their parents are feeding them at home. Just because he’s fat doesn’t mean our children should be”. Liam is currently being fed at school on a diet of turkey twizzlers, chips and suet pudding and all manner of so called healthy foods.

Last night the head master, Mr Ainsley Harriot said that Liam’s pack lunch was in breach of the guidelines issued by the education department. He added that an improvement in class behaviour is already evident and we believe that this is down to the change in diet of the children. We asked him to provide an example of the change in behaviour of the children. Mr Harriot confirmed “Before the change the children used to be polite always did as they were told. It was so bad the children wouldn’t even give the teachers names.

Since the changes in the rules one teacher was abused verbally another was asked if they were a virgin as they were a fat bitch. At last we are getting back to basics.” Whilst giving the interview at the school gates, Mr Harriot was called a paedophile by an innocent looking child at the school. Whether this was anything to do with the changes in food or not we cannot confirm.

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