Celebrity Adoption Special Report


The current trend for Hollywood celebrities to adopt underprivileged children continues to spiral out of control. Last night Britney Spears announced that she is seeking to adopt. After the uproar of Madonna adopting a Humpa Lumpa and Paris Hilton, adopting a right old strop due to no one picking up on her trend of keeping an elephant as a pet, we now have this.

We call for an end to this travesty after it was reported that Britney Spears wishes to adopt a baby clown. Remember it was only 12 months ago that she stupidly adopted an aardvark after the A-Z craze hit America last year.

“I have always wanted to adopt even when I was 4 years old I had a motherly instinct like no other I know. These feelings have been with me for years and I truly feel that now is the time to get things right.” We asked Miss Spears if she was at all following the celebrity ‘B’ list craze of using songs in her press releases but this she denied. “No one ever thinks of the poor clowns do they? They are laughed at and ridiculed by people and always seem so terribly sad. I say “Send in the clowns” let us adopt them and let them know that American people have big hearts.”

We felt so strongly about this we lobbied President Bush to ask him to put a stop to this current celebrity trend.

“I cannot see anything wrong with what is going on at the moment. Clowns are freak’n funny. I once saw a clown down a litre of caster oil and then light his own fart: man that was brilliant. That was the turning point in my political career. I knew then that anything could happen as long as a clown was in charge of his destiny. She can adopt a freak’n wombat for all I care as long as she puts that school uniform on again.”

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