Police Called to Mass Brawl At Wedding.

Posted by GregB on October 13, 2008 · Leave a Comment

A member of the general public was forced to call their local police station after a wedding at the picturesque resort of Cana, Galilee after trouble at a local wedding. Officers raided the out of hand party after Jesus openly refused to produce a large quantity of wine as promised.

Jesus, one eyewitness confirmed, had to be escorted from the wedding ceremony by his disciples after one angry guest shoved a half eaten chicken wing in his chest, whilst berating him drunkenly about his no miracle attitude. This caused other party goes to turn on the son of God also and vent their anger at the lack of over flowing wine.

Police chief, Ken Stott confirmed, “A number of guest at the party after consuming large amounts of wine wouldn’t take no for an answer when they asked the son of God to replenish the already empty jars of red wine. This invoked a lack of compliance from Jesus which resulted in a number of punches being thrown by all and sundry.”

Chief Stott also confirmed, “We found Jesus in the beer garden surrounded by his disciples as chairs, jars and all manner of household goods were being thrown about him. Fortunately we managed to quell the situation after a short period of negotiation. Thankfully we managed to get Jesus to produce a few platters of pies, sandwiches and crisps. Fortunately the number of arrests made, were minimal and the party was allowed to continue into the night without further incident.”

When asked how he felt about being forced into such a situation, Jesus merely confirmed, “It’s a cross I have to bare these days being the son of God.”