Martyrdom Not What It Used To Be

The Muslim world waits with bated breath after the current credit crunch has a knock on affect to the number of virgins they may receive after martyrdom. Al Mapha Bin Mapha a leading actuary working on the virgin/martyrdom audit has confirmed today that possible changes may need to be made. “For sometime now or at least since the world trade attacks and the subsequent invasions of both Iraq and Afghanistan the, number of martyrs have increased across the world. If this increase in suicide bombings etc continues upon the path it is I am afraid this could spell disaster for every future Muslim martyr. The boom we are currently experiencing could have a catastrophic effect on future resources.”

Mr Al Mapha Bin Mapha confirmed that the audit is due to be completed no later than early January next year. An international helpline has been set up for any future suicide bombers who have concerns over this matter. They can telephone CIA-0890 66600, premium rates apply.

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