Government Flushed Over Industrial Action

Reading, chatting, eating and texting are among the favourite activities of Britons on the toilet, according to a recent survey. The study suggests more than 14 million people in the UK read newspapers, books and magazines on the loo. The poll points to eight million people talking – either on the phone or to family … Continue reading

Female Astronaut ‘Drops’ Space Tool Bag

Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper watched helplessly as the kit drifted away from her as she serviced the solar array system on the orbiting platform. “Thankfully I managed to place my lipstick and lip gloss in my pocket before starting repairs on the solar array system.” Heidemarie confirmed to her bosses at NASA

Mandelson Admits Strictly ‘Envy’

Lord Mandelson says he has been watching Strictly Come Dancing with “a degree of envy” and told the BBC it would be nice to be asked to take part. “It would be lovely to get to grips with Brendan too!” The business secretary confirmed.

Tanning Drug Use On The Rise

A growing number of people in the UK are injecting themselves with an unlicensed tanning drug, a BBC investigation has found. Melanotan is still undergoing clinical trials but is sold illegally online and in salons and gyms, Newsbeat reports. It is a synthetic hormone which stimulates the body’s production of melanin, a substance that gives … Continue reading

Received This Today And Felt I Should Share It With You All

Dear all, I don’t normally make a habit of forwarding charity e-mails, but this seemed to be a particularly good cause. Mute Tourettes Syndrome has long been in the shadow of its more famous sister-disease, ‘Tourettes Syndrome’, and although much rarer, is even more tragic in it’s consequences. While a child suffering from Tourettes has … Continue reading

Terrorist Alert Over Tin Food

Al Qaeda it’s reported have hidden bombs inside tins of Alphabetti spaghetti . Officials have confirmed that if they go off they could spell Related Articles The War With No Name ( Interpol issues global alert ahead of Quran burning ( Al-Qaeda, LeT terrorists can strike in India during World Cup matches ( The media on terrorist … Continue reading

Summit Pledge To ‘Restore Growth’

Global leaders at the G20 financial summit in Washington have pledged to work together to restore global growth. President George Bush said that he assumed these small children would grow taller with age but it looks like the world will have to step in and help. Mr Bush confirmed that the United States would be … Continue reading

All In All It was Just Another Paedophile On The Cavern Wall

A brick bearing the name of disgraced glam rocker Gary Glitter was removed from Liverpool’s famous Cavern Club and replaced with a plaque. The convicted paedophile’s name was featured among the hundreds of acts who have played the Matthew Street club, made famous by The Beatles. A Spokesperson said that they hoped this amendment should … Continue reading

As The Credit Crunch Hits The City A Bunch Of Bankers Seek Another Job

Another Exclusive Offer From The Global News Terrorists In Association With Vatican And ANL Products

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