Minister in Sex Expenses Exposure

A Labour Cabinet Minister has confirmed that he will repay £22,300 in allowances following media revelations about his secret liaisons with prostitutes.The Labour MP said he had kept to the rules but stories about how much he claimed back on whips, baby oil, love toy’s and fundoms as expenses had caused a “massive blow” to his integrity and standing with voters. One Member of Parliament stated, “It would seem he was taking out more than he ever put in!”
It is the biggest amount an MP has paid back as all parties attempt to repair the damage to their reputation. The general public have been up in arms over the continuing leeks over parliamentary expenses as more and more is exposed in the media each day.
Ken Stott chairman of the parliamentary review board was dumbfounded when news broke early this morning of the as yet unconfirmed minister’s allowances bill. “There was a time when MP’s would do the right thing and only claim for blow jobs, straight sex and the odd kinky S&M sessions. I am truly shocked that a minister in this day and age would foolishly claim for the likes of “Big Lube”, “The Rhino Horn” and assorted sized condoms (flavoured and unflavoured). There has to be an end to all this exposure before the cracks gets so big they will never be able to fill them up again!”
Prime Minister Gordon Brown and Tory leader David Cameron clashed over MPs’ expenses at prime ministers’ questions. Both men agree the system is in need of reform but Mr Cameron – who has told his MPs they must pay back excessive claims or face the sack – said he would however, refuse to pay back the expenses he claimed on his three wheeled bike, helmet and bell as he needs them to ride to the house of parliament every day.
4 Responses to “Minister in Sex Expenses Exposure”
  1. Anonymous says:

    the punchline about Cameron’s trike made me laugh! Cheers..

  2. Red Fred says:

    am a bit slow on the uptake sometimes, but i geddit now- Black Rod, of course!ps is fundoms a word? never cum across that b4…p.p.s is S&M really that kinky? It beats Vanilla sex…

  3. yeah man! When Freddie spanks my furry little arse it feels soooo gooood!

  4. that’s nuthin! You should see what we get up to….

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