NASA Confirms Child Pleasing Experiment To Commence

President Obama, keen to dispel rumours that he is doing nothing but sitting on his ass, was pleased to announce that once the crew on space shuttle Atlantis has completed its work repairing the arm of the Hubble telescope it will carry out an important experiment that could benefit the world. NASA he confirmed will conduct the first magnifying glass experiment from space on ants

The space station which is currently orbiting at a height of 560km (350 miles) above the Earth will extend its arm whilst holding a specially designed magnifying glass in front of the glare of the sun. It will then deflect the powerful solar rays on to a specially selected ant hill in a field near Hawk Springs, Wyoming.

Local school bully and prolific executor of insects, George Wellington has welcomed the news. “It’s about time the government decided to step in and help me rid the world of these pests. For far too long now I have been accused of torture on a wide scale by local animal and insect lovers. I am glad I know can say I have both the government and President Obama’s blessing with my pogrom of violence.”

We left George to continue making his ant soup near a ditch by his front lawn as he spat in the face of an eight year old boy with ginger hair, bucked teeth and seven fingers on each hand.

President Obama confirmed that it was every little child’s dream to go into space and more so to kill god damn ants.
Former President, George W Bush refused to comment when asked what he thought about the use of such superior technology against a vastly inferior opponent.

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