Conservatives New Fight Against Yobs Outlined

Vandals and those in involved in anti-social behaviour could have their mobile phones confiscated under plans set out by the Conservatives.

Shadow home secretary Chris Grayling said withholding someones phone for a month may help “disrupt” gang activity and make a point to troublemakers. Providing they are not able to buy a new phone for £10.00 in a supermarket we assume. He stated that they would also like to introduce Chinese whispers as a means to embarrass yobs. “Lets see what little Tommy thinks of rumours about his bed wetting”, Mr Grayling gleefully confirmed.

Ministers say police have “many tools” to deal with anti-social behaviour but unfortunately hitting yobs with a yardstick is deemed to be illegal at present.

‘Nokia generation’

In a speech in London, Mr Grayling said police should have the power to confiscate SIM cards and handsets as well as to deter anti-social behaviour.

Such a move, he said, “would go to the heart of what matters to a Nokia generation of young people”.

Troublemakers and gang members could also have their bicycles taken away. Under drawn up plans that will be implemented should the Conservatives win the next election. The plans could also include removing sweets, catapults and conkers from hardened troublemakers on our streets. One 5 year who we spoke to confirmed, ” This is devastating news but as long as we can keep our guns, knives and drugs I am sure we will be ok.”

One Response to “Conservatives New Fight Against Yobs Outlined”
  1. Matthew Cain says:

    Frances Crook of the Howard League has dismissed it as headline grabbing. All a bit New Labour as far as I can make out!

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