I’m A Crank Get Me Out Of Here

The full might of the British Armed Forces is to be thrown behind getting our cranks out of an Indian hot spot it can be confirmed. A team of Special Forces operatives are on stand by to rescue two British plane spotters arrested in India this week. This was confirmed by a top civil servant who announced it in hushed tones behind a newspaper and out of the side of his mouth at his Gentleman’s Club near Whitehall.

The members of this elite team covertly named the Special Hobby Services (SBS) are at this moment are on their way to an undisclosed camp out side New Delhi. Should the governments exhausted attempts fail to extract the two nut cases from certain jail sentences for plane spotting; the SBS will be called in to action immediately.

The SBS was created in 2001 to head off any attempts to imprison British tourists abroad for numerous sad hobbies. The squadron first saw action in Oman when an unofficial tidily-winks competition was raided by the countries Secret Police at a popular tourist hotel. Four British competitors were arrested and held at a secret interrogation camp and subjected to an extremely torturous game of Snap.

SBS Teams rescued the men during a midnight raid and thankfully suffered no casualties, though a collection of Victorian Tidily-Winks were lost down the back of a seat of the rescue plane on the way home. The squad was last called in to action to rescue the Birmingham Six, a group of bus spotters arrested in Alabama in 2003.

The two forty year old plane-spotters arrested in India are being charged with intercepting communications unlawfully and could face a year in prison or a fine. The pair were being held at Delhi International Airport last Monday but they are now believed to be held in a New Delhi immigration centre. The accused were found carrying an air traffic control scanner, a laptop, binoculars, cameras as well as note pads, pens and packs of Chewits and Spangles. The two forty year old prisoners, both single, are believed to be missing their mummy’s. The United Nations have no mandate to help people who have sad hobbies so have ruled out stepping in to help out if an international crisis erupts.

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