Europe Sick To Death Of Icelandic Volcanoes Attention Seeking.

Airports in parts of Scotland and Ireland closed from 0700 BST because of risks from volcanic ash, the Civil Aviation Authority has said. Last month, volcanic ash clouds from Iceland grounded flights for six days.

The situation in the skies has been changing hour by hour, meaning the picture for air travellers is unclear. Governments across Europe as well as their respective aviation authorities are calling on the troublesome volcano to stop its dilly dallying and just go ahead and blow.

Experts have confirmed that there is no knowing when the insistent outpouring of ash is likely to subside. “If you ask me, I think someone needs to smack the little buggers behind for him. This will I wont I erupt attitude of the volcano is unbelievable. Just because it cannot be brave enough to explode like any normal volcano” Prof. Ken Stott of the Kirby Institute of Volconology confirmed, when briefed on the latest disruptions.

Ryan Air has attempted to contact the volcano in order to delay the ash from disrupting flights for another day or two. This we have been informed was due to its introduction later this week of their new volcanic Ash charges. Each passenger booking a flight on any of their European destinations as of next week will be charged £100 extra to cover for the airlines losses due to grounded flights.

British Airways has called on the Icelandic Prime Minister to introduce a human sacrifice scheme as a means to put an end to the turmoil the volcano has caused.

Elsewhere, both the Labour and Conservative parties have come out in the press this morning and have left the current groundings very much at Nick Clegg’s doorstep.

A spokespeople for Mr Brown’s and Cameron’s campaigns stated that the reason the volcanic ash is back on our doorstep could possibly be due to the Liberal Democrat’s immigration policy. “It’s obvious to most of the country that this Icelandic volcano is attempting to get in to the country via the back door. It assumes that all it needs to do is hide out in the country for 10 years then it will be given an amnesty”.

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