Modern Technology Confirms England Are Still Crap
After Frank Lampard’s goal was disallowed during the 4-1 defeat at the hands of Germany a cry for modern technology to be introduced into the game has been made. Unfortunately FIFA spokesman Nicholas Maingot refused to comment on the referee’s howler that had cost England to lose 4-1 instead of 3-2 after Lampard’s goal was … Continue reading
Weekly Horoscopes
Aries: Somehow you just knew it was wrong but the taste of human flesh got the better of you didn’t it? Leo: You’ve opened your big mouth way too much today best be quick before your pimp turns up and takes all of your hard earned cash. Sagittarius: Magical moments are few and far between lately and … Continue reading
Jesus Arrested At Wedding Brawl
A member of the general public was forced to call their local police station after a wedding at the picturesque resort of Cana, Galilee after trouble at a local wedding. Officers raided the out of hand party after Jesus openly refused to produce a large quantity of wine as promised. Jesus, one eyewitness confirmed, had … Continue reading
What Do You Think? Ashton Kutcher: A Happy Marriage Is Like A House
Ashton Kutcher: A Happy Marriage Is Like A House Your Comments:- I agree for sure. My house is run down, dilapidated and every time I try to knock something up in it it falls down in seconds. I’ve got to agree with him there. In my house I can use the front and back door … Continue reading
Richard Littleknob…The columnist who NEVER Pulls His Punches! (Except for dead prostitutes; he’d rather just spit on their graves)
I read today that another so-called expert is trying to ruin our lives with his sinister meddling. Apparently, this bonkers bureaucrat called Peter North wants to stop us hardworking salt-of-the earth Englishmen enjoying a few pints, whisky chasers obviously and a couple of brandies (well Geoff’s boy’s home on leave, be rude not to eh?) … Continue reading
Superdrug Pulls Katie Price Perfume
Reality TV star Katie Price’s perfume has been pulled from Superdrug’s shelves because of “ethical” reasons. It follows a report in The Observer newspaper claiming Indian workers, where the perfume was made, were paid less than the minimum wage. A spokeswoman for the high street shop said that because of their “robust ethical trading policy” … Continue reading
THE RANK NEWS: spoof news and satire 