Level 1000 Mafia Wars Player Now Wondering Where His Life Has Gone


A British man who has just been promoted to a level 1000 in Mafia Wars is now wondering were all his life has gone.

Jimmy “Chicken Legs” Brown was walking on air yesterday evening when he achieved his ultimate wish by becoming a level 1000 Mafia Boss.

The elation however, didn’t last long after he had realised he no longer shared the family home with his family. His wife Mary we can confirm had left him some months earlier and moved back in with her mother along with his two children.

A sudden dark realisation hit Jimmy like an ice pick in his ear an hour or two after achieving his goal. After completing his last task he looked up and realised he was sitting in a darkened livingroom with only his dead cat to keep him company. This we have been told brought on a serious bout of depression, the likes of which Jimmy had not experienced since he was kicked off Facebooks FarmVille Application for pitchforking all the farmyard animals.

According to his wife, Jimmy had spent most of the last year plugging away at the Facebook application and in the process managed to miss his 20-year-old sons first spoken words since he became a teenager.

“I feel so depressed. My wife and family meant so much to me and to think I let a diamond heist, a brothel and running one of the biggest gangland mobs get in the way of my family commitments.”

“I have tried to take my mind off it by playing Bouncing Balls on Facebook instead but so far all I have managed to do is get a callus the size of a cumquat on my right hand!  To top the lot I have now also received a letter from the government saying the Italian authorities are looking to extradite me back to Sicily to stand trial. I wouldn’t mind the nearest I have ever been to Italy was when I accidentally touched Simona Agostini’s leg in junior school and she was only half Italian!”

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