Modern Technology Confirms England Are Still Crap


After Frank Lampard’s goal was disallowed during the 4-1 defeat at the hands of Germany a cry for modern technology to be introduced into the game has been made. Unfortunately FIFA spokesman Nicholas Maingot refused to comment on the referee’s howler that had cost England to lose 4-1 instead of 3-2 after Lampard’s goal was mistakenly ruled as not a goal.

Maingot, was speaking at a press conference in Johannesburg yesterday. On several occasions he refused to be drawn on the matter stating he was not qualified to speak about refereeing matters.

 Calls for FIFA President Sepp Blatter to attend after demands for top level answers fell on deaf ears and it was left to Mr Maingot to not answer the questions instead of Mr Blatter who would have not answered at the questions just as professionally at the conference.

Professionals have called for future games to incorporate modern technology in order to help referees at future England games to show the correct defeating score line.

 However, FIFA President Sepp Blatter has so far ruled out such technology.

“It would be too time consuming and anyway everyone knows how rubbish England actually are without having to payout for added technology! He then went on to do a rendition of the football anthem “Your crap and you know you are!” to those around him.

In another report today it has been confirmed that a video of England’s South African World Cup tour has been bought up by a Gay Adult TV Show. When The Rank News asked the COE of the production company concerned why they have bought the rights to the England squad’s highlights, Brent Oliver confirmed “Well where else would we be able to get our hands on footage of eleven arse holes being battered for 90 minutes?”

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