Li-Lo to lie low: refuses to be a bi-ho: Paparazzo says Oh No!


Troubled actress Lindsay Lohan, sentenced to 90-days imprisonment earlier this week, has announced that she is to retire from showbusiness with immediate effect.

It is thought that the Mean Girls star had gotten wind of a plot by a rogue paparazzo, Martin Scr0te, to secrete cameras in the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, California, where she is due to start her sentence next month.  

According to a source close to Lohan, Mr Scr0te had made arrangements with several female inmates to make secret recordings of the Herbie: Fully Loaded actress in the showers, with a view to releasing the edited footage as a full-on lesbian prison p0rn movie. 

However, with the newly-sober star now renouncing her celebrity status, her camp hope that the lack of public appetite for such a film will now put the kibosh on the dastardly deed.

We asked the internet’s number one celebrity blogger Perez Hilton to make sense of it all. He told us exclusively “Lindsay Lohan? Phwoar! I definitely would! Have you seen the jugs on it?”

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