Mel Gibson: I’ll Punch Anna Kournikova in the face!

Beleaguered movie star Mel Gibson has broken cover today to issue a brief but chilling warning to his detractors.

The controversial actor, 54, has responded to claims that he beat his Russian ex-girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, 40, by warning the internet to “shut their goddam Russki-loving Zionist mouths. You don’t know what I’m capable of. You don’t know what I am.”

And in an astonishing verbal attack on the former tennis ace Anna Kournikova, who had not made any public comment on the affair, the staunchly religious star ranted “None of you heathens can judge me. Only the Almighty Jesus Christ, King of the Jews, can judge me. I’ve had it with these Russian sexpots turning a bloke on and off like a tap and then crying to the authorities when you give them a playful little headbutt. So if you want to start Kournikova, I’ve got my two fists of Biblical justice, Mr Exodus and Mr Leviticus, ready to ram down your throat, you whore of Babylon!”

In conclusion, Gibson, previously a high-profile Catholic, appeared to proclaim a shock conversion to his faith. He claims that he has renounced Catholicism and is now what he described as an Unorthodox Jew. Or as Mel put it “I’m a Nazi.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

  • Archives

  • Submit your site to search engines This site is listed under Political Satire Directory
%d bloggers like this: