Piers Moron: Poised To Be An Even Bigger Smug Git Than Ever Before

The former Daily Mirror editor, Piers Moron is reportedly poised to replace veteran talk-show host Larry King on US news channel CNN.

By all accounts Moron has signed a £5.5m, four-year deal with CNN to replace King. This follows reports in the US media yesterday that NBC had agreed to share the irritating bore with CNN. Moran is contracted to NBC as a judge on America Has Got No Talent.

Harry Krantz a veteran American TV Critic confirmed, ” I guess there just isn’t enough smug boring  over inflated C##t’s to go around at NBC and CNN. I’d give Moron two shows before someone hits him in the smacker with a sledgehammer!”

Moron, 45, who celebrated his marriage to Daily Telegraph journalist Celia Walden last month, is believed to have impressed CNN executives with his interviewing style.

It can be confirmed that President Obama has asked the  FBI to investigate rumours that CNN executives  may have been drugged before they watched video footage of Moron prior to employing the former Daily Mirror editor.

Many of the interviews for the CNN show, broadcast in the key 9pm slot on the US east coast, are recorded and Moron unfortunately will still have time to star in the NBC lack of talent contest.

He is also expected to continue to make one-off shows for ITV as well as another two series of interview show Piers Morgan’s Life Stories, each running to 12 programmes.

Northumberland Police have asked for callers from America to stop flooding their help line with requests for their marksmen to pick off Moron before he flies back out to Hollywood.  Northumberland Police spokesman had this to say on the matter, ” Will the general public stop claiming Moron is Raoul Moats accomplice. We do not have the power to take Moron out with a single shot no matter how big you may think his head would be an easy target to hit, so please stop asking!”

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