Vatican To Supply Religious Lucky Charms To MOD


Vatican we can confirm are to Supply MOD with protective rosary beads after Guardsman Glen Hockton was saved during a patrol in Afghanistan. This news has created a flood of requests from hundreds of soldiers for their own religious paraphernalia. Christian shops across the country have reported excessive sales compared to previous years and are putting it down to a miracle from God.

Mary O’Brien who runs the Christians -R- Us shop in Ipswich was beside herself with joy at the number of customers visiting her shop.

“It’s been wonderful seeing all of these strapping young men in uniform coming through the door asking for bibles and the like. It makes a change from the usual sort that come in here. If it isn’t old people stinking the place up with their urine and faecal body odours then it’s normally pre-teens asking can they see my furry chalice, what ever that may be.”

The soldier who was saved from death by the rosary beads he had dropped has stated that it was a miracle he survived. “I must admit I felt strange having the rosary beads at first as I kept getting ribbed about them by my mates in the squadron. But since my beads saved me from near death, half the unit are looking like a Goth’s convention at the moment. Jimmy our Sergeant for example is looking more like Madonna in her “Like a Virgin” video than a hardened professional soldier!”
The Ministry Of Defence has announced that it is looking into possibly purchasing other religious items to protect our soldiers in war zones should testing prove to be positive.

Vatican Motors in Italy have confirmed that just this week it has had phone calls from both the British and American governments. They have it has been confirmed, asked about the company’s 2010 Armoured Pope Mobile. The highly protective transport vehicle has been pencilled in for possible purchase to help out in Afghanistan. According to the BBC television show, Top Gear its anti-mine and missile deflecting capabilities are said to be on most armed forces wish lists.

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