1 in 5 Americans now think Obama is a lesbian space werewolf


 

A shocking survey today reveals that a staggering 1 in 5 Americans now believe that not only is President Obama not an American but that he is actually not even a heterosexual human Earthling.  

The survey, undertaken by leading internet pollsters Poll-ari, was commissioned to investigate to what extent the American public believed Fox News’ increasingly frenzied hate campaign against the President.

And the results will make uncomfortable reading for the Commander-in-Chief along with the other actually able-to-read 4/5ths of the population of the United States, as 20% of those polled said that they firmly agreed with Fox News’ dementedly unhinged commentator Glenn Beck’s claim that the President was “some form of female homosexual space werewolf, sent by Robot Satan to destroy America.”

Poll-ari founder Kenneth Williams explained “As the Fox News crusade against the President became ever more hysterical and their allegations degenerated further and further into the farcical, so it seems that a terrifyingly large proportion of the American public want to believe every single batshit-insane word of it. Frankly, this is a grim day indeed for the Federal education system.”

The Rank News asked Mr. Beck if he had any evidence to support his latest fantastic claim but the American Right’s self-appointed spokesman could only sob uncontollably through faux-patriotic tears to pitifully exclaim “It’s not my fault, I’m just a fucking madman.”

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