Richard Littlejohnson : The columnist who loves Britain so much he lives in Florida

I see the lefties at the annual limp-wristed bumming-bonanza that is the Edinburgh Festival are up to their usual tricks again this year.

Yet again they announce the shortlist for the Comedy Award and yet again my old mate Jim Davidson can’t get a look in.

So rather than do the patriotic thing and recognise this country’s greatest living comedian, the Fifth Columnists in charge of the judging hide behind their jobsworth small-print whining that Jim didn’t have a show in Edinburgh this year and come up with yet another bunch of namby-pamby so-called alternative comedians, or as I like to call them, alternatives to comedians!

You can use that one if you want, I don’t mind so long as you remember to tell fellow-right-thinking people you got it off old Rich. We don’t want a Keith Chegwin joke-stealing situation now do we? Funnily enough, I couldn’t stand that bloke til I saw another side to him on some behind-the-scenes of showbiz show once. Extras I think it was called. Anyway, he came across like someone I’d really like to have a pint with so you’re alright with me Cheggers, I’d Play Pop with you anyday! Although, if I catch you even looking at my front-bottom I’ll bury you, understand?

Finally, we’ve just got room for this week’s ‘It’s Political Correctness Gone Mad’ story. Apparently, there’s this war hero in Arbroath who’s got a wooden leg and the Communist scum in the local council have confiscated his wooden leg off him and given it to the Muslims to build an effigy of Winston Churchill which they’re gonna set fire to on St George’s Day! You couldn’t make it up, could you?!*

*Editor’s Note: Legally-speakingRichard did actually make this up .

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