Weekly Horoscopes


horoscopes image

Aries
Funny remarks may be taken out of context today, keep your cool. Don’t take things personally names like Skank and Dirty Little Ho are terms of endearment in some countries around the world. Keep smiling.

Leo
A figure in red promises to fill you in midweek on what you actually got up to at the party last weekend that’s if you haven’t already read the graffiti in your local barroom toilet.

Sagittarius
Dog Grooming is your passion but unfortunately for you some of the pictures you uploaded on your computer go beyond normal client customer protocol. It’s doubtful anyone will understand some of the poses they have found on your hard drive.

Taurus
Building bridges with those close to you is going to be hard particularly since you killed all them in that house fire last January.

Virgo
Your confidence is at an all time low and no amount of practice is going to make your aim steady unfortunately the firing squad you are about to face do not have the same problems.

Capricorn
The crabs you brought back from your fishing trip are coming back to haunt you this week be prepared for a very sore time of it. Try not to make rash judgments about your girlfriends ability to catch you out about your weekend away with the boys.

Gemini
No amount of ass kissing will save you today when you have to chair that important meeting in front of management at head office. This could leave an even worst taste in your mouth so it’s best keep a toothbrush handy.

Libra
One minute you are up and the next you are down being reincarnated as a see-saw isn’t what you expected is it?

Aquarius
Remember it was God who told you to kill them not the Devil it will make it easier on yourself when it comes to your trial believe me.

Cancer
Your Favourite song by the doors, ‘This is the end’ has more poignancy about it after your results come back from the doctors today

Scorpio
You come in to a lot of money this week as your campaign of violence and terror upon your neighbourhood reaps the rewards you have worked yso hard to achieve.

Pisces

At last someone steals your heart at the weekend. Unfortunately it is because you will be the latest victim of a serial killer. At least they will find the rest of your body for a funeral.

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Comments
One Response to “Weekly Horoscopes”
  1. Faucets says:

    A nice article., thanks for sharing their stuff with us.Faucets

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