Stray Cat Looking Way Too Long At New Female Owner

Jim Sweeney woke up this morning after a good nights sleep to find that stray cat his 23-year-old girlfriend took in three days ago was taking too much interest in her.

Smoky the tom-cat who was found apparently abandoned near their Michigan apartment was spotted by Mr Sweeney licking his fury balls in a very slow methodical rhythm whilst slyly watching as 23 year-old Susan walked nonchalantly about their apartment in nothing but a small black thong.

Jim who’s suspicion was raised at this point realised the cat was removing Susan’s thong with his eyes whilst Smoky’s wiener was on full view. A furious argument ensued and Jim quickly dressed and whilst leaving the apartment in a huff apparently appeared to have kicked Smoky deliberately in the nuts.

An astonished Susan confirmed that her boyfriend was last seen that morning storming out the apartment. The last she had heard of him was him saying that he was going , “next door to see Mrs Bernstein’s cat Trixie”.  Apparently he threatened to find the Bernstein’s cat and was going to go and start licking his own balls in front Trixie  to see how Smoky liked it.”

We can confirm that Smoky has since moved in permanently with Susan. As for Jim, he was arrested by Michigan’s finest for exposing himself  to an 80 year-old woman and her traumatized cat.

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