Christine O’Donnell I’m Not A Witch


CHRISTINE O'DONNELL

Christine O’Donnell who was selected as the Republican nominee to fight the 2010 Delaware Senate election next month on 2 November has released her first Ad for the campaign. The first words spoken in the Ad from Ms. O’Donnell’s mouth are “I am not a witch!”

Her ad was meant to allay fears of some Republicans who have voiced their unhappiness over some of her comments. Particularly the recent statement that she had dabbled with witchcraft during her youthful years.

Annie O’Dwyer, a 53 year-old housewife from Austin Texas was enraged by Ms. O’Donnell’s comments on masturbation as well as witchcraft. “As far as I am concerned there is only one way for her to prove she isn’t a Satan loving witch and that is a ducking-stool. The way I see it if she floats she is a god damn witch and if she drowns then her cold dead body can fight the election with mine and god’s blessing.”

Ms. O’Donnell  has hired Fred Davis, a Republican ad wizard, to help introduce her to voters in her first general election ads. The mere fact that Mr Davis is known as a wizard has further fuelled speculation about Christine O’Donnell’s beliefs for some of her colleagues. Since winning the nomination for Delaware’s open Senate seat, she has faced a series of embarrassing videos about everything from her stance on masturbation to her youthful foray into witchcraft to her thoughts on evolution.

William Greenfeld a former Republican High Court Judge wasn’t shocked by the reaction to Ms O’Donnell’s comments. “In my day we would have burnt the witch at a stake. But alas you cannot burn witches no more, particularly since health and safety concerns over citizens being accidentally injured were raised by town councils.”

“None of us are perfect,” Ms. O’Donnell says, “But none of us can be happy with what we see all around us: politicians who think spending, trading favors and back-room deals are the ways to stay in office. I’ll go to Washington and do what you’d do however, should that fail I know a good book of spells that  I can turn to, to help me win my party over .”

The ad ends with Ms. O’Donnell repeating her message: “I’m you.”

Rumours Ms. O’Donnell has employed Witchypoo and the Wicked Witch of the West to help her with her campaign have  so far strongly been denied.

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