The Vatican Denies Nativity Scene Is Too Commercialised.
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News In Brief: Amnesty To Investigate Alleged Torture At Anfield
Amnesty International are investigating reports of the weekly torture of thousands locked in the clubs football ground during Liverpool’s home games. Both Manchester United FC and Everton FC fans have called on the European Court of Human Rights to take its time deliberating on the reports before it makes any decision or at least till the … Continue reading
Rank News Weekly Horoscopes 27-31 December 2010
Aries: It is time to leave the past behind you and look forward to a bright new future unfortunately you have just been informed that you only have hours to live. Leo: It’s that time of the year to try and sell those unwanted Christmas presents you received this year. However, you may not … Continue reading
A Million UK Children Unable To Abuse Their Friends On The Internet
More than a million school children in the UK still lack access to a computer at home, research suggests. And almost 2m are unable to go online at home, according to leading digital education charity, the E-Learning Foundation. It also claims those from the poorest families are two-and-a-half-times less likely to have the internet at … Continue reading
Doctor Poo : Christmas Special Gets The Gillian McKeith Treatment
Obnoxious pretend doctor Gillian McKeith has announced that she has become a professional actress and that she is scheduled to make a shock appearance on our TV screens this Chrismas Day. The turd-obsessed charlatan, 51, who revived her flagging television career by appearing in the hit ITV reality show ‘I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out … Continue reading
Richard Littlejohnson : The columnist who’s finally forsaken his last remaining miniscule scrap of humanity
So did you see the student protests the other week? Or the Scum Rampage as they should have called it. I was shaking with rage as I witnessed the despicable images of destruction and terror perpetrated by these filthy workshy lettuce-munching communists on my 62-inch plasma TV in my luxury Florida home. So you can … Continue reading
North Korean President Makes Promise To His People
North Korea branded South Korean artillery drills on a front-line island a ‘reckless military provocation’ this morning but said it would not retaliate, backing away from earlier threats to strike back. The North said after the 90-minute drills ended that it was holding its fire because Seoul had changed its firing zones. The official … Continue reading
Government Forced To Make U-Turn On School Sports
Michael Gove was forced to stand outside the Prime Ministers room today after he was forced to make a U-turn over the governments school sports policy. Tory Michael Gove, the Education Secretary, suffered great embarrassment in back-tracking over his pledge to bin Labour’s flagship school sports programme. The 43-year-old revealed he would now restore almost … Continue reading
American Missile Launch Kills Santa On Trial Run
Unofficial reports are coming in that NORAD (North American Aerospace Defence Command) has shot down Santa during one of his many trial runs using one of its defence missiles, possibly a heat seeking missile. Situated in a tunnel driven 3km (1.9 miles) inside Cheyenne Mountain, this facility was designed to track incoming Soviet missiles … Continue reading
Sales of Anti-Magnets Go Through the Roof As New Bra a Knickers Go On Sale
The daily battle to fasten and unfasten a bra using those tricky hooks and eyes could be over for good. As a collection of French lingerie in which the fastenings are replaced with tiny, almost invisible magnets goes on sale this week. The bra comes with a matching pair of ‘clip-on, clip-off’ knickers, which have magnetic … Continue reading
THE RANK NEWS: spoof news and satire 