Prisoners Change Their Religion In The Thousands After Pagan Rights Allowed.


An 18th century engraving of a Celtic wicker man.

Offenders who  claim to follow the Pagan or Wicca faiths – immortalised in the 1973 film The Wicker Man – will be given the same religious rights as Christian or Muslim inmates.

Pagans and druids will even be allowed to have ‘wands’ or ‘sticks’ in their cells.

They will be able to chose to take off four out of the eight Pagan
festivals, which also include Beltane on May 1 when believers celebrate the Sun God with ‘unabashed sex­uality and promiscuity’.

Barry Wiltshire, an inmate at Parkhurst Prison for murder welcomed the news.

“It’s great news indeed. I cannot wait to be able to wave my wand in the prison without being pounced upon by the prison guards. At the moment its only my 18 year old cell mate who gets to see any wand action and that is only after lights out!”

Last night, the Prison Officers’ Association warned some prisoners would simply ‘jump on the bandwagon’ to gain extra privileges.

The Ministry of Justice said the new guidelines come into force on Jan­uary 1 and all prison governors must be made aware of Pagan festival dates.

Jimmy ‘the meat’ O’Driscoll changed his religion the instant the announcement was made.

“I have to admit the Beltane Festival caught my eye straight away. Unabashed sexuality and promiscuity have always been my forte. Since I was sent down for 20 years for bestiality and other sex offences there hasn’t been much in the way of action lately.”

A Prison Service spokesperson said: ‘The Prison Service issues annually a list of religious festival dates for the year ahead – this includes key dates on which prisoners registered in that affiliation can be excused from work. Having said that we hope that this doesn’t mean we will have to find a new warden for each prison each year, especially if the prisoners insist on burning the current warden during the Wicca Festival.”

 

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