Torres’ Wife Speaks Out Over Fernando’s Transfer To Chelsea

Fernando Torres is bought by Chelsea Football Club today for a record £50 Million during the transfer window.

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Sir Alex Confirms Transfer Rumours About Manchester United Not True

  Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson quickly denied rumours that he is to sell a key player as today’s transfer deadline hots up.

Richard Keys To Release Retro Music CD

The Rank News Weekend Magazine Out Now

Sky Sports Set To Unveil Andy Gray’s Replacement

  Rumours are rife that Sky Sports are about to announce the sucessor to disgraced commentator Andy Gray. Gray, 53, was sacked after a succession of clips appeared on the internet showing him making sexist comments to a female Assistant Referee and a colleague.

Patients Are Told To Describe Symptoms Online

Patients are to be told to examine themselves at home and email their GP with the results rather than meeting face to face. They would send in a short message describing symptoms which would be answered by a doctor between appointments or at the end of the working day. Those with long-term conditions such as … Continue reading

News In Brief: West Ham United Game Goes Online

West Ham United are to have their own Mafia Wars game named after them to celebrate their ongoing battle with finding a new manager whilst still employing Avram Grant.  “Its been murder around here lately and it looks like the blood letting is going to continue for a while yet. It’s that bad I cannot … Continue reading

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Jeremy Kyle Welcomes An Increase In Youth Unemployment

    Today Jeremy Kyle welcomed the news that the jobless total rose by 49,000 in the three months to November. The former Snake Oil seller was smiling from ear to ear whilst rubbing his wet clammy hands together in anticipation of the human fodder who he will soon be free to watch his Tv … Continue reading

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