Gibson’s Beaver Not What American Teens Expected To See

"I can also do the elephant trick!"

Hundreds of American Teenagers were left disappointed last night after being invited to a pre-screening of Mel Gibson’s latest film The Beaver.

The release of the movie, directed by Jodie Foster, was pushed back when alleged tapes of Gibson verbally abusing his ex-partner were released.

In the film, Gibson plays a troubled family man who communicates with people by using a beaver hand puppet. Unfortunately the film did not meet the expectations of its title for the mainly male high school audience who had turned up expecting to see their first adult movie.

Police had to be called to the cinema to evict a large section of the audience for getting too rowdy. This occurred after half way through the film, when some of the teenagers started shouting for real beaver. As soon as the proprietor and his staff tried to calm them down they were subjected to loud whistles and catcalling as well as being bombarded with popcorn.

Perry Olson, a 17 year-old from Austin Texas was less than happy with the contents of the film.

“Man it sucks! The nearest it got to some bare skin was when he took the god damn puppet of his fist. I am asking the proprietor for my money back.”

 Jimmy Steinbeck, also from Austin confirmed he felt numb after watching the film.

“I paid good money to watch that film and I feel cheated. The scenes were Gibson using his glove puppet to verbally abuse the female police officer by calling her sugar tits was disgraceful, he was that bad at ventriloquism you could see his lips moving.”

Harry King the chief executive of the film company who produced Beaver tried to dispel rumours about Gibson’s new movie.

“I can assure you the reaction from the audience last night has been blown out of all proportion. It’s not our fault these kids thought it was a god damn adult flick. Whilst on the subject of the film, I would like to state that regardless of rumours and speculation in the news this morning no puppets were hurt in the making of the movie. Do you seriously believe we want to see half the cast of the Muppet Show picketing outside theatres showing our movie? If we don’t nip this in the bud right now it will be like Fraggle Rock all over again.”

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