Avram Grant To Stay At West Ham Despite Sizeable Offer From Another Club


West Ham are “committed to retaining Avram Grant as manager” after reports had linked Martin O’Neill with his job.

It is understood from a sources within the game that O’Neill, who left Aston Villa in August, had decided over the weekend against taking up any offer to succeed the 55-year-old.

West Ham who are currently bottom of the Premier League but have won three of their last six games under Grant have denied the rumours are true.

The club said in a statement that “in fact we have only this week turned down an offer for Avram from another club. This surely shows our commitment to keep this East End club out of the Premier League”.

When pushed to name the  football club that had put an offer for 55 year-old Grant, they confirmed, ” Actually it was ‘Sontaran United ‘of the intergalactic league but we turned them down as we are unable to exchange 40 million Sontaran Glooks for Sterling.”

Upon hearing the news Dr Who gave his thoughts on the bid from the war mongering race of Sontaran’s, ” It’s not normal for such a ruthless race to put a bid in for an earthling football manager. However, when you take in to consideration that Sontaran’s are best known for the ability to constantly foul even the best laid plans up and fall on their backside every time It kind of makes sense. With Avram Grant managing the Sontaran’s then the worlds going to be in safer hands!”

West Ham owner David Sullivan denying newspaper reports that the clubs vice-chairman Karren Brady had asked some of the players to “rise up against Avram Grant”.

“Karen doesn’t work that way at all and as for her allegedly trying to hit Avram in his probic vent to assassinate  him well that’s just silly.”

The Hammers said they intended to find the source of what they called “unhelpful and untrue” comments and would remove whoever was responsible from the club. They added that their lawyers were now dealing with the matter and a special investigation team nicknamed “The Unit” will be providing security at the club whilst the investigations are on going.

 

 

 

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