Special Investigation : What Does Nick Clegg Actually Do? Secret Diaries Reveal All

With the Prime Minister David Cameron being out of the country this week as he tours the Middle East flogging shooters, the spotlight has fallen on the Deputy PM, who is supposedly ‘minding the shop’ in the meantime. Yet today it transpired that Mr. Clegg has decided to take the rest of the week off, … Continue reading

British Gas Customers Urged To Spontaneously Combust To Keep Warm

British Gas has confirmed that it made a profit of £742 million after its 7% hike in over the Christmas period. About 8 million British Gas customers were hit with a price rise on  December 10, lifting an average customer’s dual fuel bill from £1,157 to £1,239. Britain’s pensioners have now been urged to turn to … Continue reading

Cameron No Longer Keeping The Middle East At Arms Length

“This is a precious moment of opportunity for the region and the UK’s arms dealers,” Mr Cameron said. “We stand with the people and governments who are on the side of justice, the rule of law and freedom provided that they can afford our products.” David Cameron confirmed. Related Articles Cameron in defence row on … Continue reading

Alternative Book Titles: Russell Brand

Weekly Horoscopes 14-18th February

Aries Your fear of enclosed spaces and the dark collide this week when you find yourself entombed in an uncharted cave. At least you can attempt to rationalise your fears for once and all before your oxygen levels drop. Leo You are not feeling yourself lately much to the relief of your co-workers at the … Continue reading

Rat Catching At 10 Downing A Headache For Larry The Cat

Larry the cat has been unveiled as the official rat catcher at number 10.

News In Brief:Wayne Cannot Get Enough Of Coleen’s Fashion Range

New High Street fashion range launched set to wow the nation. Coleen Rooney has launched her first ever fashion range that she helped design herself – and it’s more affordable than her usual boutique favourites.. She said of the range: ‘I am often asked about the clothes I wear and my sense of style and … Continue reading

Jamie Redknapp Finally Breaks His Silence : Yes I Smashed It

Sky Sports football pundit Jamie Redknapp has at long last answered the question that had been on the Nation’s mind since the Keys/Gray Sexismgate scandal broke last month.  The former England international has spoken out in a bid to quell rampant internet speculation as to whether or not he did actually “smash” the mystery woman … Continue reading

Weekly Horoscopes 7-11 February 2011

Clarkson Et al To Be Culled Government Confirms

After a week of controversy over the Top Gear presenters derogatory  remarks towards Mexicans, permission has been given by the British Government for the three presenters to be culled. Larry Eyler of the Fox coalition confirmed that special patrols are roaming the country in search of May, Hammond and Clarkson in specially modified Robin Reliants. … Continue reading

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