March | 2011 | THE RANK NEWS: spoof news and satire

News In Brief: Odd Bins Go Into Administration

Posted by GregB on March 31, 2011 · Leave a Comment

Filed under humour · Tagged with Creditor, HM Revenue and Customs, Oddbins, Retail, Wine

New Riots Expected After Arts Funding Cuts Announced

Posted by GregB on March 30, 2011 · Leave a Comment

The Metropolitan Police have confirmed that they are on high alert after news broke today that more than 200 organisations that received regular funding from Arts Council England have missed out after “a series of painful decisions”. Fears that thousands of mime anarchists will march on the capital this weekend as the news sinks in … Continue reading →

Filed under humour · Tagged with Arts Council England, Barbican Centre, City of Westminster, Ken Stott, Metropolitan Police Service, spending review

Angels Are Perverts Claim Women

Posted by GregB on March 29, 2011 · Leave a Comment

Angels are more likely to visit young single women on their own according to biblical leaders. In a recent survey, Angels, it can be confirmed are more likely to visit young, single females and largely shun older women as a consequence. This news has shocked religious leaders particularly due to the sexual vulnerability of the … Continue reading →

Filed under humour · Tagged with Angel, Bethlehem, Judea, Messiah, People, Young Women

The Rank News Weekly Horoscopes 28 March 2011

Posted by GregB on March 28, 2011 · 1 Comment

The Rank News Weekly Horoscopes. You weekly dose of astrological fun. Related Articles Weekly Horoscopes 21 March 2011 (ranknews.wordpress.com) Weekly Horoscopes March 6-12 (ranknews.wordpress.com) Who Believes in Horoscopes? (writeyourthoughts.wordpress.com) Libra Daily Horoscope for March 19th 2011 (5min.com) Weekly Horoscopes 14-18th February (ranknews.wordpress.com) Horoscopes (metamorphosisofthemind.wordpress.com)

Filed under horoscopes, humour, News Items · Tagged with astrology, Horoscope, News Weekly, Religion and Spirituality, weekly

The Rank News Magazine 25 March 2011

Posted by GregB on March 25, 2011 · 3 Comments

The Rank NewsMagazine full to the brim with news, reviews and celebrity gossip Related Articles The Rank News Weekend Magazine Out Now (ranknews.wordpress.com) Celebrity Gossip (benrosier.wordpress.com) SNL Skit: Canadian Celebrity Gossip Show (shoppingblog.com) The Rank News Magazine Out Now (ranknews.wordpress.com) This Week in the News (March 25, 2011) (sleeplessparent.wordpress.com)

Filed under humour, magazine, magazines, News Items, the rank news, The Rank News Magazine · Tagged with Celebrities, celebrity gossip, Entertainment, Gossip, Ian Duncan Smith, People, politics, Snake oil

Eric Pickles Confused Over Libyan Fly Zone

Posted by GregB on March 24, 2011 · Leave a Comment

Eric Pickles MP, Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government voiced his concerns over the news of a continuing No Pie Zone by NATO forces in Libya this week. Upon Hearing that he had made a mistake he quickly ordered 25 steak and Kidney Pies and a half-dozen Scotch Pies to celebrate. (Original Idea … Continue reading →

Filed under government, politicians, Politics · Tagged with Conservative, Eric Pickles, Eric Pickles MP, Libya, NATO, politics, Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government

Cartoon:Tuition Fee Protest

Posted by GregB on March 24, 2011 · 1 Comment

UK student tuition fee protesters kettled by Metropolitan Police (cartoon)

Filed under cartoon, cartoons · Tagged with Cartoon, Colleges and Universities, Education, Kettling, London, Parliament Square, Police, Student, Trafalgar Square, Tuition payments

Weekly Horoscopes 21 March 2011

Posted by GregB on March 23, 2011 · 4 Comments

Filed under humour, News Items · Tagged with astrology, Horoscope, Religion and Spirituality, weekly

The Stair Bath By ANL Productions

Posted by GregB on March 20, 2011 · Leave a Comment

Ever felt the need to wash when you are on a long journey up your stairs?Ever wanted to remove the daily grime whilst it takes 5 hours to get to the top of your stairs? Then look no further! The Stair Bath gives you peace of mind should your colostomy bag get snagged on your … Continue reading →

Filed under humour, News Items · Tagged with Accident, Barbara Cartland, Chair, Stairlift, Stairway

Libyan Leader Entertains Loyal Troops

Posted by GregB on March 19, 2011 · Leave a Comment

Colonel Gaddafi rewarded his loyal troops last weekend with his legendary Tommy Cooper routine it has been reported. It has been confirmed that anyone who still wanted to live declared how they loved the show, well at least until the guns aimed at them were eventually lowered. The ageing leaders version of Tommy Coopers famous … Continue reading →

Filed under gadaffi · Tagged with Arab League, Benghazi, Colonel Gaddafi, Libya, Muammar al-Gaddafi, tommy cooper