Fabio Capello To Hold Sleaze Summit With Ferdinand

Fabio Capello’s attempt to explain to Rio Ferdinand why he is reinstating John Terry as England captain took a farcical twist when the two men failed to meet up despite both being at Old Trafford.

It leaves the captaincy issue in limbo and has created a ridiculous stand-off. Capello announced on Monday that he would hold discussions with Ferdinand but, bizarrely, no formal arrangements were made.

The pressure is now on for Rio Ferdinand to drop his nice man image and become a right bastard with his team mates by shagging their wives. The England Manager wants to see a bit more off the field activity from the Manchester United player that will get the tabloids talking.

“I cannot see the point in designing clothes and opening your own shops what kind of example is that to the young kids who want to play for their country one day?  Rio needs to be spotted visiting a few dogging sites and possibly caught in flagrante delicto banging a few dolly birds behind the Bargain Booze shop in Deansgate on a Saturday night if he hopes to change Capello’s mind over the captaincy.” A spokesman for the England squad confirmed.

John Terry was elated upon hearing that he was to be reinstated as the England Captain. The British government have called upon all footballers in the entire London area that it may be wise to start evacuating their wives from the capital before it is too late.




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