NATO Called On As Supermarket Price Wars Heat Up

NATO ponders over calls for a no fly zone as supermarket wars escalate with thousands of casualties left to fend for themselves as small businesses fold on a daily basis.

The supermarket price war between Tesco and Asda has resulted in world wide condemnation after volleys of Asda’s cheap ‘Rollback’ items were fired towards Tesco’s ‘Price Promises’ earlier this morning in what amounts to a declaration of supermarket war.

Ethel Bridge a retired nurse from Lewisham, London was caught up in the initial mêlée at 9 o’clock this morning after she had popped in to her local Tesco Metro.

‘Supermarket Wars’

“It was terrible I wouldn’t mind I had only nipped in for a newspaper and a pot of Shippams fish Paste for husbands sandwiches. I was waiting to be served at the till and idly pondering whether to buy another lottery scratch card. That was when I was knocked off of my feet by a rollback on Special K Oats & Honey that came smashing through the window.”

Prime Minister David Cameron has called for calm and asked that both supermarkets refrain from further attacks.

“I can assure the British public that we are doing all that we can to put a stop this needless Supermarket war. I have been in talks with my European colleagues to see if we can try and end this situation before further casualties arise. I can assure the general public we are doing all we can to put an end to these acts of consumer hostility.”

A man in Manchester was this afternoon injured when  a jar of pickles that had been rolled back by 5 pence, fell of a shelf and hit him on his foot after being hit by a Tesco Price Promise. Officials have spoken to the gentleman’s family to let them know of his condition.


NATO has refuted claims it has not acted yet over the disputed supermarkets because the conflict in the main has concentrated mainly on food prices. NATO dismisses rumours that should the conflict move to the petrol pumps on forecourts that only then it will react.

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