Enjoy A Tramp-Poo-Cino!


 

 

A coffee shop is serving up coffee which is made from cat poo – for £9 a cup.

It is made from the beans of coffee berries which have been eaten by an Asian Toddy cat and passed through its digestive tract.

Kopi Luwak, or Civet coffee, is said to be one of the trendiest beverages around – as long as you don’t think too hard about where it came from.

The coffee, which costs between £200 and £300 per pound, is so expensive because of its scarcity, as only 500kgs of the beans are produced in its home of Indonesia each year.

Locals pick the ‘coffee beans’ from the faeces of Asian civet cats, which eat the ripe coffee berries as part of their diet.

However, a group of tramps from London have offered to under cut the current market leader by producing their very own brand of coffee beans called ‘Clagnut’ at much cheaper price.

Billy a street warrior originally from Birmingham but who now sleeps near the River Thames was elated by the possibility of earning some cash to feed his alcohol habit.

“If i had known I could earn £200-£300 for merely defecating coffee beans out of my rusty bullet hole after swallowing them I would have been shoplifting in Costa Coffee or Starbucks  years ago. My mate Dogger has the runs on a regular basis due to gut rot, feed him anything and it is in and out of him in seconds, we will be rich in no time.”

Health experts have warned homeless shelters and charitable organisations to try to advise homeless people to not copy this new trend as it can have serious side effects.

The Metropolitan Police confirmed that a pedestrian was nearly killed near Marble Arch this week when a tramp swallowed a single coffee bean. Unfortunately  the bean passed thru the tramps digestive tract so quickly it was shot like a bullet across a busy road and nearly killed tourist as he went about his business. Police have released a photo-fit of the tramps bottom and have asked if anyone sees the bottom they should not try to approach it as it is deemed to be armed and dangerous.

 

 

 

 

 

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