Wayne Rooney At The Centre Of E Coli Scare?

Wayne Rooney has denied that the current E.coli outbreak gripping Europe this week has anything to do with his recent hair transplant. The 25 year old Manchester United and England footballer  who confirmed that he has had a transplant since the end of the English football season was shocked upon hearing that he is being fingered for the deaths of 22 people in Europe.

“De better be joking’ lad I weren’t anywhere near those people who snuffed it, I was out with me mrs and de little fella lad!”

Rooney who chose a new crop of broccoli in stead of hair has come under scrutiny after the German doctor who carried out the operation has been missing since the first outbreak in Germany was announced. The German Chancellor Angela Merkel has called for an immediate investigation into Rooney’s new hair transplant in the hope to deflect any more anger being directed at her government over the shambles government officials have found themselves in.

Wayne Rooney’s agent has asked that the press leave the football star alone as he spends a holiday in the sun with his family.

“Wayne is extremely upset over the current situation and wishes to be left in peace. He feels he is living in pressure cooker at the moment and we all know what that could do to his new crop of broccoli!”

Rumours that Rooney has hired some of the Crocky Crew Gang to protect his new head of broccoli around the clock until the e-coli scare has been sorted has yet to be confirmed. However, Merseyside police confirmed that the word on the street in Croxteth at the moment  is ‘hairy follicles lad’.


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