Victims Thank Akin and Galloway For Enlightening Them With The Truth

Congressman Todd Akins and British politician George Galloway’s clarification on the legitimacy  of rape have been welcomed by confused victims this week. 

Akins who stated a woman’s ability to conceive her unwanted child proves that she was not, in fact legitimately raped was great comfort to the many thousands of women viciously raped in America each year.Georgina Walton, a 24 year-old mother of two from Baltimore, who was repeatedly raped by a longterm violent boyfriend thanked Congressman Akins for clearing up the matter for her. 

“Being subjected to violent abuse and sexual rape was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Now I know it wasn’t actually rape I can learn to get on with my life and stop having murderous thoughts about my ex-partner and every time he beat me up and forced sex on me. I now know these thoughts were wrong of me!”

“If I had have known the female body has ways to shut down conception during cases of true rape I could have slept easier whilst in hospital with internal bleeding.”

Meanwhile in Britain (No)Respect politician George Galloway has been busy offering his advice on when rape is not rape. 

“Not everybody needs to be asked prior to each insertion,” he said.

He added: “It might be really bad manners not to have tapped her on the shoulder and said, ‘do you mind if I do it again?’ It might be…bad sexual etiquette, but whatever else it is, it is not rape.” 

This has been a relief to men who use date rape drugs whilst trawling nightclubs searching for for unsuspecting women and those wrong minded people who believe no actually means yes. 

Barry Crawford a sexual predator from Wrexham expressed his thanks to Mr Galloway for telling the truth.

“It is good to hear Mr Galloway stand up for people like myself. It is just a pity he didn’t say it earlier in my criminal career. I could have saved a few thousand pound drugging my victims again in the morning with rohypnol. To think all I had to do was tap them on the should and ask if I could rape them again in a polite manner.” 

Thankfully Congressman Akins and Galloway have been invited on a tour of the American Prison system next month where they will be allowed to experience the pleasant delights of a shower room rape for themselves.

Big Bubba, a member of the Arian Brotherhood and convicted rapist welcomed the news of their visit. “I have heard what they have both had to say lately and want them both to know I am also confused over the words yes and no too. Rest assured they will both  be leaving this prison with their assholes looking like raspberry slushpuppies when I have finished with them.”    


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

  • Archives

  • Submit your site to search engines This site is listed under Political Satire Directory
%d bloggers like this: