British Poor Rejoice At Rich Resurgence In Fortunes
The Poorest in the nation rejoice as the UK’s super-rich have seen resurgence in their fortunes. According to the Times Rich List the collective fortunes of the top 1,000 on the list have risen by 30% in the past year – the biggest jump in the list’s 22-year history – to £333.5bn. Last year the … Continue reading
Britain Suffering Low Levels Of Normal Moaning
Experts have confirmed that Britain it is not quite ready to get back to its usual degree of moaning. Due to the recent extreme weather conditions that have hit British shores general every day moaning has been for a time placed on the back burner. The reason for this change is wholly due to current … Continue reading
Britain In Chaos Due To Snow And Ice
Britain remains gripped by sub-zero temperatures after the Met Office recorded the winter’s coldest day yet. The mercury plunged to -22.3C (-8.1F) in the Highland village of Altnaharra and UK temperatures ranged from -10C (14F) to 0C (32F) during Friday. Roads and pavements remain icy, with salt supplies “stretched”, while thousands of schools are shut. … Continue reading
British Owl Population Decreasing At Alarming Rate
Reasearch has shown that owl population in Britain has decreased in by almost 50% in 2009. A leading expert in owl study said ” Its all down to an increase in the wet weather we experienced this year which has affected breeding patterns. Basically its been TOO WET TOO WHOO “
90 Mile An Hour Winds Blamed On World Record Curry Attempt
The worlds biggest curry has been blamed for excessive winds hitting Britain. The largest Balti, which was produced yesterday afternoon in India has caused tremendous winds, causing millions of pounds worth of damage. Insurance companies across the country are bracing themselves for huge claims as the true cost of the damage is calculated.
THE RANK NEWS: spoof news and satire 