Pope to Make Cheryl Cole Catholic Church’s 1st Living Saint

Pope Benedict XIV will crown his state visit to the UK next month by announcing a momentous break in tradition for the Catholic Church. For the first time in its almost 2000 year history, the Church is set to canonise a living person and that person is to be our own Angel of the North, … Continue reading

X Factor Joe Comes Out while Cowell goes Cruising

X Factor winner Joe McElderry is said to be elated at the overwhelmingly positive reaction from the public to his announcement last week that he is gay. The incandescent-toothed Geordie singer said he was “blown away” by the goodwill messages he has received both from fans and fellow celebrities alike, on his Twitter feed today. … Continue reading

The Rank News Magazine Out Now

The July 2010 edition of your favourite magazine is on sale now. Packed with features, news and a large helping of celebrity gossip. At all good retailers and vending machines.

Pixelated Faced Babies On The Increase Shock

After an influx of celebrity babies being born with pixelated faces, top doctors both in America and Britain have joined forces to call for a clampdown on such illicit surgery. “Children should be allowed to be seen without fear or prejudice” said top judge Ira Sprinsteen, “ but I have to admit if I ever … Continue reading

Strictly Come Dancing Across Your Screen Now

Recently there have been a number of successful TV shows featuring celebrities completing unlikely tasks.Who could forget the fantastic Delia Smiths “Celebrity Boil an Egg” for instance.This week the BBC have unveiled the brand new “Strictly Morris Dancing”.Couples dancing in the coming series are:- Ann Widdecombe & Richard MadelyRonnie Corbet & Sharron DaviesPeter Crouch &Barbara … Continue reading

The Global News Terrorists Magazine

Malawi approves Madonna adoption

Malawi has confirmed that it has now officially adopted Pop Star Madonna. The singing Diva was unfortunately not available for comment last night when news broke just after midnight. Justice Andrew Nyirenda said he was satisfied Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie were “perfect for the country”. President Bingu Wa Mutharika confirmed, “I am looking forward … Continue reading

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