Mysterious Stains On Children’s Clothing After Pop Stars Death
The Michael Jackson commemorative ice-pop was removed from stores in America today an international news agency confirmed. The ice-pop concerned which features the late stars face was removed from hundreds of stores due to complaints from parents. Initial reports claimed that parents in the United States had complained over the irregular stains the ice-pop left … Continue reading
Children Shocked by Their Lack of Timing During Their Annual Camping Holiday.
The Hennessey children were disappointed for all the wrong reasons this year when they fell asleep during the long journey to summer camp. Mr and Mrs Hennessey were shocked at the outcome of the journey when all three children failed to ask “Are we there yet?” “Brian and I take it in turns to drive … Continue reading
NASA Confirms Child Pleasing Experiment To Commence
President Obama, keen to dispel rumours that he is doing nothing but sitting on his ass, was pleased to announce that once the crew on space shuttle Atlantis has completed its work repairing the arm of the Hubble telescope it will carry out an important experiment that could benefit the world. NASA he confirmed will … Continue reading
New Event Rumoured For London Olympics
Olympic officials have denied rumours that the next children’s Olympics in London will introduce a new event, the 1,000 metre stare. Competitors from around the world in the 9 to 16 age group will compete for the traditional gold, silver and bronze medals whilst they compete against each other whilst being subjected to intense home … Continue reading
American Missile Launch Kills Santa On Trial Run
Unofficial reports are coming in that NORAD (North American Aerospace Defence Command) has shot down Santa during one of his many trial runs using one of its defence missiles, possibly a heat seeking missile. Situated in a tunnel driven 3km (1.9 miles) inside Cheyenne Mountain, this facility was designed to track incoming Soviet missiles and … Continue reading
Received This Today And Felt I Should Share It With You All
Dear all, I don’t normally make a habit of forwarding charity e-mails, but this seemed to be a particularly good cause. Mute Tourettes Syndrome has long been in the shadow of its more famous sister-disease, ‘Tourettes Syndrome’, and although much rarer, is even more tragic in it’s consequences. While a child suffering from Tourettes has … Continue reading
Summit Pledge To ‘Restore Growth’
Global leaders at the G20 financial summit in Washington have pledged to work together to restore global growth. President George Bush said that he assumed these small children would grow taller with age but it looks like the world will have to step in and help. Mr Bush confirmed that the United States would be … Continue reading
Large Spider Makes Children Celebrate More
Liverpool woke to the sight of a large spider suspended off the side of one of its city centre buildings yesterday. The mechanical spider was created to help celebrate the 2008 European City Of Culture. We asked a group of local children if they were impressed by the large spider. Gary a local boy said … Continue reading
Gary Glitter In Childrens Games Sickener
Convicted Paedophile Gary Glitter has announced he wishes to be cremated upon his death. He then wishes to have his ashes placed in a children’s drawing game. When asked why, he confirmed it was because he wanted children to carry on playing with him long after he had passed away.
THE RANK NEWS: spoof news and satire 