Conservatives Confirm New Plans To Clean Up Health Service
CONSERVATIVE PARTY TO SUPPLY DOCTORS WITH NEW EQUIPMENT TO ERADICATE LONG TERM SICK BENEFIT CHEATS
Record Card Game Ends In Broken Dreams
The Brittle Bone Society was strongly criticised when it organised the world’s biggest game of cards. NHS spokesperson Ken Stott confirmed that as many as 2 hundred participants were hospitalised after the marathon game of Snap had ended on Saturday evening. Organisers confirmed that it was the first and the last time such an event … Continue reading
Cholera What Cholera?
President Robert Mugabe has said Zimbabwe has contained cholera – as the UN and a UK charity warned the deadly outbreak was getting worse. “Nonsense I diagnosed the situation myself and can assure you that the epidemic is a figment of the wests imagination.”, Mr Mugabe confirmed to those who bothered listening.
Why doctors should be tested for competence
Unknown souce from the NHS took the above photograph recently. Shockingly it shows two senior surgeons laughing and joking at the pain suffered by a patient. When questioned by our reporter one said “It wasn’t me he did it” Then proceeded to spin around for no apparent reason and fall over a theatre trolley. The … Continue reading
Deadly Inflictions Suffer Under Hospital Restrictions
For some time now hospitals have for want of a better word, dumbed down their cleaning/hygiene policy for the much cheaper practice of disregard and neglect. This cheaper policy has created a hygiene pool of tissue wasting bugs that have killed countless thousands across the country. A hospital in the South of the country has … Continue reading
Paediatricians Are This Years Paedophiles
The Metropolitan Police Commissioner Harold Armstrong has today called on Prime Minister Gordon Brown to put an end to the number of Paediatricians allowed to roam our streets. The police commissioner has once again asked the question that all right minded citizens of this country have been asking for sometime now, Remove these paediatricians from … Continue reading
You Looking At Me
A cat has had the first cataract operation in the UK. Smuts the cat is recovering well at home his owner confirmed. However, he is feeling the strain of the 5 hour operation. Doctors at the hospital that operated on Smuts said he is likely to feel a lot of swelling to his eyes for … Continue reading
Dr Who In Blackpool Who – Ha.
A flurry of complaints hit the Blackpool Dr Who Convention help-line when it was found that the current Dr Who actor David Tennant had been replaced with a locum.
THE RANK NEWS: spoof news and satire 