Police Fear Safety Of Essex Lion

  Police have confirmed that they are investigating eyewitness accounts of a lion roaming the Essex countryside. Dylan Cartwright was walking his dog near Baintree last night  when he heard what sounded like a lions roar. “I heard a loud roar at 10pm. It sounded like a lion,” he told the BBC.

Panther On The Prowl In Essex

News has reached the Global News Desk that a black panther has been sighted prowling the countryside near Essex. An eye witness, Mrs Pauline Price spotted what appeared to be a large agile black cat walking across the fields behind her house on Sunday night. “I was hanging out my washing on Sunday when something … Continue reading

Policeman Kisses Rat To Death

A rat was given the kiss of life by an animal-loving policeman it has been reported in the media.The ill rodent was spotted by PC Andrew Westlife while he was on his beat in Clacton, Essex. “It ran out in front of me and stopped and looked up at me with its beady eyes.” PC … Continue reading

Fruity Bat Births Surprise Park Keepers

A colony of fruit bats at a wildlife park in Essex surprised their keepers with some unexpected deliveries. Staff at the Tropical Wings park in South Woodham Ferrers, near Chelmsford,thought their Egyptian fruit bat colony was made up entirely of females. But the theory was blown apart in late January when eight of the 15 … Continue reading

Policeman Kisses Rat To Death

A rat was given the kiss of life by an animal-loving policeman it has been reported in the media. The ill rodent was spotted by PC Andrew Westlife while he was on his beat in Clacton, Essex. “It ran out in front of me and stopped and looked up at me with its beady eyes,” … Continue reading

Panda Porn Causes Some Scorne

Kidderminster Zoo has sparked an out cry from animal rights activist after it was confirmed that one of their star animals, Chiang – Chiang the male panda was allowed to watch an adult panda movie. Chiang-Chiang a six year old male panda from China and Beyonce a five year old female panda born in Essex … Continue reading

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