Capello On Brink After Stanley Matthews’ England Quit Stunner

England manager Fabio Capello was left reeling today after the unexpected international retirement of legendary winger Stanley Matthews. The latest body-blow to the hapless Italian supremo was delivered by Sir Stanley’s ‘spokesman’, ridiculous shyster Derek Acorah. The oleaginous charlatan, 52, released a statement purporting to speak on behalf of Sir Stan saying “It is with … Continue reading

Spurs Defeat At Madrid Harry Redknapps Final Word

The final word on Tottenham’s defeat at Real Madrid in the Champions League mid-week

Fabio Capello To Hold Sleaze Summit With Ferdinand

Fabio Capello’s attempt to explain to Rio Ferdinand why he is reinstating John Terry as England captain took a farcical twist when the two men failed to meet up despite both being at Old Trafford. It leaves the captaincy issue in limbo and has created a ridiculous stand-off. Capello announced on Monday that he would … Continue reading

Lack Of Traditional Cockney Food To Blame For Riot

A riot occurred last night at a typical friendly, West Ham Millwall derby game after a public house near to Upton Park ran out of jellied eel’s minutes before the match started. The Police are currently trawling through hours of CCTV footage to try and trace the catering firm who failed to deliver appropriate amounts … Continue reading

The F.A. Have Taken Action Over Christiano Ronaldos Constant Falling Over Looking For A Free Kick

Chelsea And Man United Come Under Scrutiny After World Record High – Five Attempt Goes Wrong

FA Probe United Star’s Chelsea Brawl FA refuse to confirm which players they have probed but will confirm that Wayne Rooney has been left with an injury. A brawl involving Manchester United players and Chelsea staff after the weekend’s title showdown is being investigated by the Football Association. What started off a world record attempt … Continue reading

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