News In Brief: Manchester United Blunder

Manchester United in team photo blunder

Transfer News: John Terry Set For Switch To…. Rugby Union!

In an announcement set to rock the Premier League, cartoonishly-villainous Chelsea captain John Terry is set to turn his back on football and re-start his sporting career in Rugby Union. The controversial England ace is believed to have grown weary of the mass opprobrium that has been hurled in his direction over the past three years … Continue reading

Manchester United Fans Reveal Their New Banner After The Champions League Final

Manchester United fans reveal new 19 banner after their defeat against Barcelona in last Saturdays Champions League final.

Breaking News: Premiership Manager Takes Out Super Injunction

Breaking News: A Premiership manager has apparently taken out a super injunction today against a leading newspaper to stop them running with a story of his alleged affair with Referee Howard Webb. Also this week Premier League winners Manchester United have announced that they will be issuing free Super Injunctions to all their players at … Continue reading

Capello On Brink After Stanley Matthews’ England Quit Stunner

England manager Fabio Capello was left reeling today after the unexpected international retirement of legendary winger Stanley Matthews. The latest body-blow to the hapless Italian supremo was delivered by Sir Stanley’s ‘spokesman’, ridiculous shyster Derek Acorah. The oleaginous charlatan, 52, released a statement purporting to speak on behalf of Sir Stan saying “It is with … Continue reading

Spurs Defeat At Madrid Harry Redknapps Final Word

The final word on Tottenham’s defeat at Real Madrid in the Champions League mid-week

The New Michael Jackson Erection Outside Craven Cottage Causes Concern

Fabio Capello To Hold Sleaze Summit With Ferdinand

Fabio Capello’s attempt to explain to Rio Ferdinand why he is reinstating John Terry as England captain took a farcical twist when the two men failed to meet up despite both being at Old Trafford. It leaves the captaincy issue in limbo and has created a ridiculous stand-off. Capello announced on Monday that he would … Continue reading

Glenn Beck Finally Convinced by Theory of Evolution With Discovery Of “Half-Monkey, Half-Person”

Lachrymose Fox News presenter Glenn Beck has made a sensational U-Turn today on his claim that the theory of evolution was “ridiculous” because he had yet to see a “half-monkey, half-person” after he saw this amazing evidence on ESPN.

Rooney Wants To Try Some Of Those Old Spanish Birds Sir Alex States

Sir Alex Ferguson has confirmed that Wayne Rooney wants to leave Manchester United and won’t enter into contract talks. The Old Trafford boss insisted he had never fallen out with the striker and is ‘dumbfounded’ by the his change of heart. And in an extraordinarily frank interview before Wednesday’s Champions League game against Turkish champions Bursaspor, Ferguson … Continue reading

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